Silver linings

This week has given me some wonderful experiences that have deepened my understanding of the gospel. I wouldn't really say that I've learned anything 'new', but I've definitely had things I already knew testified and solidified.

Last Saturday, we learned that a little girl in our ward, about 5 months older than Nancy, had passed away. Since that time, I have gone through quite a number of emotional rollercoaster rides. I didn't expect to go for any rides--I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ allows us to be resurrected, and carries the promise of being able to see them again if we live righteously. Other funerals that I've been to, I felt more emotionally stable, and I assumed that that last statement was why. So why was I riding rollercoasters now? As I've stopped to think about that, I've realized that for most of those others, I've known death was approaching because of illness or age or both. For this one, it was very sudden, she was very young and very vibrant. I had heard she had been sick, but I'd also heard that she was doing better, and had every reason to think (or so I thought) that she would be at church the next week, the next month... Having a child at home about the same age probably doesn't help either. Singing "I am a Child of God" with Nancy probably will never be the same as it was before this week. Having time to spend with my children has also become more treasured (I wish it also made me perfect at using that time).

I had a chance to visit with a friend today, we got to talking about how Heavenly Father will help bring good out of things that are hard. She had visited with our Relief Society president who had mentioned that there were a number of silver linings in this hard thing. I have seen some things that have blessed my life from this experience. One blessing was watching the mother at the viewing. She interacted very openly with the young children who came in. She had taught the Sunbeams, and it was so fun to watch her get hugs from some of them. Her example was a wonderful one to watch--sharing the love she had for her daughter with each of us that came through, even doing some of the comforting herself. They had mentioned on Sunday that they wanted the funeral to be a memory of the joy that her daughter had brought, and I could tell that she was sharing that joy with each of us, even though it probably wasn't easy for her to do at times. I also enjoyed listening to the Stake President who spoke both at our Ward Conference Sunday and at the funeral as he taught with the perspective of someone who has come to know the gospel not having grown up with it. He had some family members pass away before learning the gospel, and shared some experiences from that time before continuing on to share the teachings of various prophets on death and resurrection. I enjoyed hearing him share, connect, and explain. Another blessing was watching the interactions of others as they helped in preparing for and carrying out the funeral. There is something that fills a heart that comes from watching people work together in service. Something else I enjoyed was the chance that this has given me to get little glimpses showing me better who these wondrous people are. It hasn't ever been really easy for me to get to know people, and frequently I have found even with someone I have been friends with for some time, I often know less than I realized, even some of the basics of who they are and what they do. For me, it seems that this funeral has brought us a little closer, and helped us to share a little more openly things that we admire about others around us, even perhaps, knitting our (aching) hearts together.